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10 questions every engaged couple should discuss

Going into marriage, we want to have all the answers, but it may be more important to focus on the right questions. Here are 10 questions every engaged couple should discuss before they are married.
Dave Specht, KSL Modified: August 9, 2014 at 10:01 pm •  Published: August 15, 2014

The choice to get married is filled with excitement. It is the culmination of uniquely intense feelings of emotional, physical and spiritual connection.

While it is easy to get caught up in the rush of emotions, slow down enough to insure that you know how your fiancé thinks and feels about different aspects of life and your relationship.

Here is a list of 10 inspired questions every engaged couple should consider discussing well before the big day arrives.

1. How do you feel about your fiancé having good friends of the opposite sex after marriage?

Before you are married, you may have friends of the opposite sex that you spend time with, but the nature of these friendships may need to be modified or end completely to assure that they are appropriate and non-threatening to your spouse after you make your vows.

2. Who is it appropriate to talk to about challenges in your marriage?

Deciding with whom it is appropriate to talk to about rough patches in your marriage will be crucial to maintaining unity and trust with your spouse. Is it appropriate for your spouse to call her mother or his best friend and discuss money or marital problems? This is up to you and your spouse to decide. Not talking about it (with each other) can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

3. What personality trait do you admire most in your fiancé?

Learning how to recognize and express what you love about your future spouse is important. Once married, it may become easier to see your spouse’s faults and if you aren’t careful, the focus could turn to what is wrong with your husband or wife instead of all that you appreciate about them.

4. What expectations do you have for where you will live?

This may not seem like a big deal if you date and meet while you are both away at college, but it is something you need to talk about. If your fiancé is committed to living a mile from her mom’s house in a town of 1,000 people, but you want to be a hot-shot attorney practicing intellectual property law in a big city, that can cause some friction later on in your marriage.

5. What factors will you consider when deciding if and when to have children?

While each couple decides together about having children — the number (usually) and timing of how your family grows — it will be important to know what your fiancé expects. If you are planning on a family with eight children and your wife is planning on being a career woman who doesn’t want children at all, you should find that out before you exchange marriage vows.

6. What is your philosophy on the role religion will play in the raising of your children?

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