One of the biggest challenges to avoiding a violent intimate relationship can be seeing the warning signs early.
Many find it hard to recognize the signs that may escalate to an abusive partnership, according to Lois Collins in a recent article on preventing domestic violence on Deseret News National. This may be because many people across the country either don't understand the warning signs or don't believe it could actually happen to them.
But statistics show there may be a greater number of victims than you may think. Data from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence shows that 1 in 4 women will experience abuse by an intimate partner each year.
That's why we've compiled a list of some of the most common, yet most misinterpreted signs of abuse in domestic partnerships. We hope that this list shows you how everyday situations in some partnerships can reveal insidious effects.
Note: We acknowledge that women are also capable of abuse in a domestic relationship. However, studies show that most abusers are male. As a result, we have used masculine pronouns to indicate the abuser in each of the scenarios below. This by no means suggests that partner violence can not also come at the hands of a woman.
1. She wants to go to a family event. He tries to talk her into doing something special with him instead.
2. She wants a burger. He wants her to have a salad.
3. He asks to see her phone — for the 10th time.
4. He borrows her favorite Ray Ban sunglasses and ruins them "on accident." He never replaces them.
5. She wants to by the newest book by her favorite author. He tells her that there are better things to spend her money on.
6. She wants to spend time with her friends. He critcizes them.
7. He's so sweet when he's with friends. He's sad, angry and despondent when he's with her.
8. She goes to the grocery store. He sends a friend to make sure her car is in the parking lot.
9. His favorite team loses the World Series. He punches a hole in the wall.
10. She wants to meet for dinner after work. He can't because he's inebriated — or on drugs.
11. She's studying late every night to get good grades in class. He says she's no fun any more.
12. She wants to go to the ballet or opera. He says, "Real men don't do those things."
13. At dinner at a nice restaurant, he insults the waiter for being too slow.