It’s summer. A nice cold one would go down awfully well, but where’s that bottle opener gotten to? You’ve searched the utensil drawer, rifled the stack of silverware next to the grill, and patrolled the grounds asking anyone if they’ve seen it, but it hasn’t turned up. Before you try opening your beverage with your teeth (bad idea, and more on that later) or smash the bottle against a chair in a fit of despair, consider some of these many ways to open a beer without a bottle opener.
1. Twist off. Yeah, this one is pretty obvious, but did you check? Twist-off caps are growing more and more common, and those of us unaccustomed to this newfangled technology sometimes forget that it’s possible to just twist a beer open. Come on, give it a shot.
2. Lighter. A classic, since beer and smoking seem to go together for many folks. Wedge the base of the lighter between the cap and the beer bottle and use it as a lever to push the cap off. Bob’s your uncle! Updated version: Portable USB drive. No really. Try it.
3. Tools. Pliers, flat-head screwdrivers, rasps, files, and bubble levels are all examples. You can use the flat edges on these tools to get under the cap, and then push upward to pop that sucker wide open and enjoy a cool glass of beer. Or drink straight from the bottle. No judging.
4. Strike plates. Do you have a door? Does it close? You may have a bottle opener. Strike plates almost seem like someone designed them specifically for this very purpose. Car seat belt latches have a similar design, but we here at Networx would like to remind you not to drink and drive, and that open container laws prohibit you from opening beer in a moving vehicle, even if you’re just a passenger.
5. Flat surfaces with a crisp edge. (Counter tops, rocks, belt buckles, street signs...) Line the cap up with the edge, and tap it sharply to get it to dislodge. Be warned that this can leave a mark on the surface you’re using as a bottle opener, and there’s also a risk of breaking the bottle if you tap too hard!
6. Tech edition. CDs, mp3 players, and a wide variety of other pieces of tech can be used to open a beer bottle with your wrist as the lever to pop them up against the edge of the cap, forcing it off. Be aware that there is a risk of skidding and damage to the device, so you might want to consider trying with your free promotional CDs first.
7. Keys, nail files, and staple removers. All of these devices happen to have little teeth, which make them perfect for slowly uncrimping a bottle cap. They do require a little more coordination than your standard bottle opener, so they might not work as well as your BAC goes up, but for your first couple beers, they’re perfect.
8. Rings. Some notes of caution before we get started: don’t use soft metals like gold and pure silver, and be aware that this might sting a bit. Now: catch your ring on the edge of the cap and push your knuckle down over the cap so the ring catches and pulls the cap off.
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