20-40-60 Etiquette: Did you get the cookies?

The women of 20-40-60 answer your ettiquette questions.
by Helen Ford Wallace and Lillie-Beth Brinkman and Callie Gordon Published: April 21, 2014
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QUESTION: I know there is so much controversy regarding the etiquette in “thanking” someone for “thanking” you. This is my question:

I sent some great cookies from “Kelley’s Kookies” to a girlfriend, who entertained my sister and me for a day and a half. We so appreciated it, and we all had a great time. I know she’s received the cookies I sent, as I’ve kept up with the tracking.

I have yet to hear from her. I personally feel this is rude to not even acknowledge that she received package. Am I being petty, or is this OK to not thank me for “thanking” her? I don’t plan to do anything about this, as I know that some people feel that it’s OK not to respond.

For me, I would make a brief call to let them know I’ve received their package and how much I enjoyed myself as well, with of course, a brief thanks.

CALLIE’S ANSWER: To each their own. Yes, a nice phone call that the package was received is the nice thing to do. Don’t worry about it too much, though. Sometimes it is silly to thank someone for thanking you.

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I think this is one you can let go. We all like a nice gesture to be appreciated and acknowledged, and your friend probably appreciated yours. But maybe she got busy. Perhaps she was on a diet and didn’t appreciate the cookies. (Just kidding about that one.) Or maybe she, too, was wrestling with her own issues about the thank-you-for-the-thank-you gesture and how many thank-yous were enough. You sent those as an expression of gratitude for a lovely day. While it would have been nice to get even a quick phone call or an email from her, I would just enjoy your friendship and look forward to the next outing. I see lots of politeness and thoughtfulness and happy memories going on here; there’s no need to get caught up in angst or irritation.


by Helen Ford Wallace
Society Editor
Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She creates, maintains and runs a Parties blog which includes web casts. She is an online web editor for...
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by Lillie-Beth Brinkman
Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a Content Marketing Manager for the Greater Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce. She was previously an assistant editor of The Oklahoman
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by Callie Gordon
Freelance Writer
Callie Gordon, a graduate of the University of Oklahoma, is working at Chesapeake Energy in the Environment, Health, and Safety Department. She was previously an event coordinator for Chesapeake Energy.
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