20-40-60 Etiquette Extra: Should I stay home or go to another holiday party with my wife?

The 20-40-60 Etiquette men offer advice to the newlywed husband who wants to stay home from the holiday parties and let his wife go alone.
BY THE 20-40-60 ETIQUETTE MEN Published: November 5, 2012
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It's a give and take and hopefully you can look back in your marriage and say you gave more than you took.

BRAD MCNEILL, 40s, owner, A&B Paving: I would like to first welcome you to marriage. Marriage is wonderful, but if you want it to be successful it will require a lot of work. This means sacrificing your needs or wants for things she wants to do sometimes. When you want to watch that football game or go play golf on a beautiful Saturday afternoon you will be glad you did. Marriage is give and take. Put on a smile and good attitude and go to that party, there will be dividends in return.

SCOTT KINNAIRD, 50s, chief executive officer of Al La Mode Inc.: Seriously? You've been married for six months. You don't get to ask your wife to take a stand-in to a party until you've been married for at least six years. If you make it that long. Good luck. You're going to need it.

CLAY HEALEY, 50s, owner, AIC Title Service, LLC: I may be the wrong man to answer this question because it so happens that I married my best friend, and I love her, and I want to spend my time with her. So when she asks me to go somewhere, I say “yes” because it is preferable to spending the time without her.

Coming from this perspective, I say: Put on your man pants and go wherever your wife wants you to go. It isn't hard, it doesn't take much time, and you are with your best friend — your wife! (And son, if you don't think the ideal relationship has all of the above, you probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.)

RON JAMES, 60s, independent oil producer: A mere six months ago you took a solemn oath to stick with your mate through “good times and bad times”. This is a perfect example of real “bad times”.

The only way to squirm out of this commitment is to claim a disabling “Act Of God”. Which, in my case, occurs every week. Some of these acts include: rain and/or unseasonably hot weather, the passing of an unknown, but very dear relative, floods anywhere in the world, labor strikes in Illinois ... or the persistent rumors of Armageddon.

Force majeure is your only hope. But, if it's any consolation, I'll see you there.