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20-40-60 Etiquette: Hold that chair!

Is a gentleman still supposed to hold a chair for a lady?
by Helen Ford Wallace and Lillie-Beth Brinkman and Callie Athey Published: February 3, 2014

QUESTION: Is a gentleman still expected to hold a chair for a lady?

CALLIE'S ANSWER: Of course! Now, this does not mean he has to hold the chair every time but occasionally is always nice. It never hurts to be a gentleman!

LILLIE-BETH'S ANSWER: Holding chairs out for a woman is a nice gesture that I wouldn't require but that I would appreciate from time to time, like at a nice restaurant or a special event. It is one way to convey consideration for the person that I hope would spill over into other aspects of the relationship and be reciprocated in turn. Also, if someone needs help with a chair or a door, I would hope that anyone of either gender would offer assistance.

Holding a chair for a woman, as is traditional etiquette, is not the only way to do convey respect — small gestures of thoughtfulness by each party for the other show genuine care for the person and deepen a connection. Too often these are missing. When we neglect the small things in a relationship, the big things become insurmountable, and vice versa.

HELEN'S ANSWER: Young women today are missing a real treat if their men aren't helping with the heavy chairs, opening the car door, and standing, instead of chair lounging, when they come into a room. That respect toward people should always be in place. Expect it!

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by Helen Ford Wallace
Society Editor
Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She creates, maintains and runs a Parties blog which includes web casts. She is an online web editor for...
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by Lillie-Beth Brinkman
Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a Content Marketing Manager for the Greater Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce. She was previously an assistant editor of The Oklahoman
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by Callie Athey
Freelance Writer
Callie Athey is 20-something and is a graduate from the University of Oklahoma. She has worked in various positions, ranging from Event Coordinator to Environmental Health and Safety Assistant. Currently, Callie is an Executive Assistant to a...
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