Message Sent Successfully
Be Sure to Check Out Our Top Headlines
- 101883Oklahoma tornadoes: The 'Big Dog,' the little boy and the hug that triumphs over tragedy
- 13737Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms drink in success of 'Hangover' series
- 10731Oklahoma tornadoes: ‘All I could do was sit there and hold her'
- 9553OKC Thunder: Kevin Durant tours Moore, meets with residents
- 8470Oklahoma tornadoes: Rams quarterback Sam Bradford leading aid effort
- 7788How to help tornado victims
- 7217Line of storms brings flash floods to Oklahoma City area
- 7121Oklahoma tornadoes: Love for Oklahoma generates big donation
- 6843Hobby Lobby argues case before federal judges
- 5845Rock, pop, country acts give talents and time to help Oklahoma tornado victims
Back to share with a friend form.
Add More Recipients
20-40-60 Etiquette: How do we coordinate gift giving?
QUESTION: It is probably too late for this year, but is there a way to coordinate children's holiday gifts so that my daughter does not get four of the same toys from family members? We are a family with several stepparents, and step in-laws, and lots of aunt and uncles who don't communicate about gift giving. How can I politely “suggest” ideas or “help” with gift selections?
CALLIE'S ANSWER: I think it is OK to give suggestions. “Jane said she would really like a new Barbie doll, if you need some ideas about what she wants for Christmas.” I always love suggestions and ideas!
LILLIE-BETH'S ANSWER: Good question, and I'm sure people struggle with this in all kinds of family situations — grandparents as well as stepparents. It certainly helps if people approach any solution to this dilemma with the idea that the gift-giving is not a competition but a way to help loved ones or brighten their lives at this time of year. If everyone is trying to do what's best for the recipient, then the situation is easier to work out with less tension.
If you have realized this is a problem, then communicate with those involved earlier next year. Amicably ask them whether they have made any gift-giving plans and direct accordingly if it looks like everyone is trying to give something similar. My children's relatives usually ask what they need or if their ideas are OK, and I appreciate their thoughtfulness not only in asking me but also in their gifts to my children.
HELEN'S ANSWER: You could submit a list by email to people who are giving gifts to your child. It could be four specific items that your child wants or needs and each list could be different. Email it in enough time for people to shop for these specific items. It will be more work for you, but it will get the message across. Communicating in a positive manner is the key here. It is nice they care.