20-40-60 Etiquette: Implementing a no-gadget rule

20-40-60 Etiquette: Is it OK to make a no cellphone, no game, no gadget rule during lunch?
Oklahoman Published: February 17, 2014

QUESTION: Is it OK to make a no cellphone/game/gadget rule during lunch? How do you go about implementing it?

CALLIE'S ANSWER: If we are talking about your children and specific events, I think it is a great idea! However, I used to have my BlackBerry attached to my hand at all times for my previous job. Yes, there is a time and a place to be answering text messages and emails for work, and I understand that it seems rude. I also think we need to be patient with each other. As for playing a game or reading a book, it is not the right time at lunch or dinner.

LILLIE-BETH'S ANSWER: That's tough to impose on other people, but it's a problem everywhere. I try to teach my kids that the most important people are those they are with, and that spending time with whoever it is should be a priority. They will call me out if I violate that philosophy.

On the other hand, Bob Goff, author of “Love Does,” has said he answers his phone anytime it rings and asks people if he can call them back if he's in the middle of something. He tries to be present with people, whatever that looks like, and that's an interesting, alternative perspective, and it works for him in unusual ways.

But back to your question. I sometimes keep my phone with me in case my kids call. I usually explain why I have my phone out and don't answer it unless the caller is a sitter or one of the kids themselves.

There is a time and place for interruptions, but I think the best we can do is be mindful of the people with whom we have chosen to spend time. If you can encourage people to put their phones away lightheartedly, it will probably be taken better than if you lecture.

HELEN'S ANSWER: I have been to lunch with people who put their phones next to their knife and fork so they don't miss a call or text. It is easy to tell children to put their phones away, but adults, who should know better, are harder. Maybe you could suggest that since you only have 30 minutes for lunch that both of you turn off your phones so you can talk. You might also select a loud environment for lunch so it is hard to talk on the phone. If texting is a problem during lunch and your friend is consumed by it, maybe you can reschedule for another time. Text her/him that news.

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by Helen Ford Wallace
Society Editor
Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She creates, maintains and runs a Parties blog which includes web casts. She is an online web editor for...
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by Lillie-Beth Brinkman
Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a Content Marketing Manager for the Greater Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce. She was previously an assistant editor of The Oklahoman
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by Callie Gordon
Freelance Writer
Callie Gordon, a graduate of the University of Oklahoma, is working at Chesapeake Energy in the Environment, Health, and Safety Department. She was previously an event coordinator for Chesapeake Energy.
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