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20-40-60 Etiquette: Wedding white

20-40-60 Etiquette, with Fashion Matters blogger and NewsOK contributor Linda Miller, wrestles with whether it's OK for guests to wear white to a wedding.
by Helen Ford Wallace and Lillie-Beth Brinkman Published: February 3, 2013

The best way to go forward is to keep the bride in mind, and even if she's not wearing white, consider how traditional you want to dress and choose accordingly.

HELEN'S ANSWER: White is still the color of choice for most brides, particularly if there is a wedding ceremony and reception involved. The bride stands out if she is the only person in white, even if it is a second wedding.

If your favorite dress has a white top and different colored skirt, I think that would be OK.

If you have talked to the bride and she does not care about dress colors for her guests, then wear your suit.

Tradition used to be that black or white dresses were not worn to weddings. I have seen more black dresses in the last several years, but white is still reserved for all brides, and I love tradition that is passed down through the generations. It is fun to honor our past and our brides.

GUEST'S ANSWER: Linda Miller, author of Fashion Matters Blog: Some rules are softening, but it's still frowned upon for guests to wear white to a wedding.

White belongs to the bride, so to speak. It's never good manners to upstage her, even if she chooses to wear a different color. And even if it's her second or third walk down the aisle.

Callie Gordon is 20-something, Lillie-Beth Brinkman is in her 40s, and social columnist Helen Ford Wallace is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email For more 20-40-60 etiquette, go to

by Helen Ford Wallace
Society Editor
Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She creates, maintains and runs a Parties blog which includes web casts. She is an online web editor for...
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by Lillie-Beth Brinkman
Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a Content Marketing Manager for the Greater Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce. She was previously an assistant editor of The Oklahoman
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