20-40-60 Etiquette: What is the right thing to do?

Do I bring a hostess gift to a party being hosted at a country club? Kathy Walker weighs in with the 20-40-60 etiquette panel.
by Helen Ford Wallace and Lillie-Beth Brinkman Published: January 6, 2013
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QUESTION: I am invited to an engagement dinner for my granddaughter by the mother of her boyfriend. The dinner is to be at a country club. What is the right thing to do about taking a hostess gift? I first thought it would be at her home but now it's at the club. Should I take a gift to the club for the hostess?

CALLIE'S ANSWER: If you feel like you want to bring a gift, that is great! I don't see the need to unless it is held at their house.

LILLIE-BETH'S ANSWER: If you would take a hostess gift to her home, it's OK to give one for an event that someone is hosting elsewhere. That person is still throwing the party, even if it's not in her home, and a hostess gift is a thoughtful way to say thanks for including you in the special event. If you need to bring it to country club because you can't get it to her home before or after the event, consider something small that your hostess can easily carry out with her. As an alternative, you can always send flowers to the hostess' home on the day of the event as a way to acknowledge the joyous occasion.


by Helen Ford Wallace
Society Editor
Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She creates, maintains and runs a Parties blog which includes web casts. She is an online web editor for...
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by Lillie-Beth Brinkman
Lillie-Beth Brinkman is a Content Marketing Manager for the Greater Oklahoma City Chamber of Commerce. She was previously an assistant editor of The Oklahoman
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