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5 tips for talking about sex with your spouse

Ever feel like sex is a three letter word you can't talk about with your spouse? It's rampant in society and the media, but difficult to talk about honestly at home. Here are some ways to open up about this topic with your spouse.
Katie Nielsen, FamilyShare Modified: May 9, 2014 at 12:36 am •  Published: May 14, 2014
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Doesn't it seem odd that, despite society's focus on sex and all its depictions in the media, it's still difficult to talk about it with your spouse? Somehow it seems taboo to have an open and honest conversation about it, even though it's an integral part of your relationship. If you're in this boat, you're not alone. Many people, especially women, have a hard time communicating with their spouse about their sexual experiences and desires.

Oprah.com consulted sex therapist, Dr. Laura Berman, to find out what she suggests to help couples work out their intimacy issues. She said, "You'd think we'd all be open, relaxed, and comfortable with [sex], but the opposite is actually true. We talk about it on the surface a lot, but in our own homes and in our bedrooms with our partners, and even with ourselves, we have this image that nice girls aren't entitled to their sexual response." That image is wrong, obviously. Girls are just as capable of having a pleasurable sexual experience as men.

Be willing to be vulnerable

The first step in being completely truthful on this subject with your spouse is to open yourself up to vulnerability. This requires being able to trust yourself and your spouse with things you've never talked about before. Be willing to bare yourself (literally and figuratively) forgetting any imperfections you think you may have. Your spouse loves you and won't care about those things anyway.

Know a little anatomy

How will you be able to explain what you like, dislike or want from your spouse if you don't understand how your own body works? Do a little research, explore yourself a little and then start a conversation with your spouse about what you learned. Choose a quiet time of day when you're unlikely to be interrupted. If you're alone with him or the kids are in bed, maybe you could give him a little anatomy lesson of his own. . . Here are 6 ways to stir up your love life.