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As a marriage counselor, I see all sorts of couples in my office. They come to me with problems ranging from infidelity to not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. When they decide to go to marriage counseling, most couples have decided that their problems are so big that they need to get it sorted out — or else. However, there are a lot of problems couples have that aren't really problems at all. They're small enough that it's not really worth the argument.
Seven Problems You Should Stop Arguing About
1. No sex.
As I said in another article, sex is a healthy and important part of marriage. So it's no wonder when couples fight about it — especially when they aren't having it. The truth is, fighting about sex is just making sure that it doesn't happen for a while. Besides, lots of people have "dry spells". Instead of sulking or arguing about it, try talking it through with your partner. Tell them exactly what you're mad about and offer suggestions of what you both can do differently. Like I said, sex is an important part of marriage so if it's not happening much (or at all), then you may have some hard discussions ahead. But, just getting turned down once in a while is not a good reason for an argument.
2. My partner wants to have sex all the time.
Physical intimacy is the one thing that sets you and your partner apart from being roommates. Because of this, sex is an important part of your marriage. It's a unique way that you and your partner can express love, passion and romance that you can't express with just anyone. So why complain when your partner wants to be intimate? It's a great way to express love to each other. And it's a lot more fun than browsing Facebook at night.
3. He or she doesn't put the cap back on the toothpaste.
I've never met someone who has divorced because their partner didn't put the cap on the toothpaste. But I have seen plenty of couples argue about it (or something like it) over and over again. The truth is, it's really not that big of a relationship violation and if it's not worth divorcing about, it's probably not really worth arguing about, either.
4. He doesn't treat me like a princess.
In the dating world, men are responsible to do everything. They're supposed to be the ones to ask the girl out, they're suppose to pay for the date and they're supposed to treat their girl like a chivalrous knight in shining armor would. And if he does all this right, he gets rewarded with another date with her. Unfortunately, these unrealistic expectations set in the dating world don't apply very well in marriage. A marriage is a partnership and expecting to be treated like a princess is expecting your husband to be a servant. Neither of these roles will work long-term in your marriage.
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