6. Are you overly dramatic, emotional or not professional at work? If your insecurities cause tears, breakdowns or emotional scenes at work, this is going to hold you back. This behavior is unprofessional and makes people lose respect for you. If you bring your personal problems to work or are easily offended, you may need to get some professional help. Don’t expect your co-workers to be your therapist.
7. Do you get along with other people? Your ability to create good relationships is what drives your value at work. If you create people problems or always end up in the middle of them, this diminishes your value to your employer. If you lack people skills, I suggest you seek out some training to improve them. Up your communication skills and learn how to handle tough conversations with confidence. A good life coach or counselor can help you do this.
8. Do you create more problems than you solve? If you create more problems than you solve, you days are numbered there. They can’t afford to keep you on staff if your drama affects productivity (which it always does.) Great employees understand they are there to serve their employer and their value lies in the quality of that service. If you want to rise through the ranks, focus on what you are giving and contributing to productivity on a daily basis. Be a problem solver, not a problem creator. If you can see some of these behaviors in yourself, I strongly encourage you to work on them. You may want to ask your company to provide some people skills training or get some professional help on your own.
If you have to deal with people who are behaving badly at work, here are some suggestions.
1. Ignore them as much as possible. Stay away from people who gossip or have a negative attitude at work. The less attention you give these people the better. Attention only validates them and encourages more of it. Let them know that you are busy working and don’t have time to talk. After awhile they should get the hint that you aren’t interested.
2. If they don’t get the hint, you may need to have a validating conversation about it. There is a worksheet on my website on the resources page explaining how to handle these difficult conversations. If you can come from a place of caring (without judgment) you might be able to help them see their inappropriate behavior without creating more drama in the process.
3. If you are attacked by an angry or upset co-worker, ask for some time to process their complaint before responding. This will prevent you from reacting and saying things you may regret. It will also give you time to step back and see the person and their situation accurately. Remember that most attacks are more about their fears (of failure and loss) than they are about you. Also remember that this person cannot actually hurt or diminish you because your value is infinite and absolute. Try the “To Be or Not To Be Upset Worksheet” on my website resources to help with this.
4. Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they are behind you for a reason. In the end they will sabotage themselves, and those who are focused on adding value will rise to the top.
You can handle this.
About the Author: Kimberly Giles
Do you have a question for Coach Kim, or maybe a topic you'd like her to address?
Email her at kim@lifea dviceradio.com.
Kimberly Giles gives her advice in the "LIFEadvice" series every Monday on ksl.com. She is the founder and president of ldslifecoaching.com and www.claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach and popular speaker who specializes in repairing and building self-esteem.