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•A vision of love
Richard Amend wrote a lie.
But it turned out to be a blueprint.
Standing in front of a seventh-grade English class, he started reading his essay on "What my dad means to me.”
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The Amend family pose for a portrait on June 4. From left back: Dillon, Donnie, Cecilia, Casey. Front: T.J., Richard, Haley
BY AMY RYMER, THE OKLAHOMAN
Richard Amend
Age: 59
Hometown: Oklahoma City.
Job: Mission director at Saint Ann Retirement Center.
Family: Wife, Cecilia Amend, 65. Sons, William Amend, 31; Dustin Amend, 29; Travis, 27. Grandchildren, Donnie Amend, 16; Casey Amend, 10; Dillon Amend, 7; Haley Amend, 4; T.J. Amend, 2.
Challenges: "We're older and our energy levels are not as great as they were 25 years ago when we were raising our children. I think our philosophy is to live one day at a time, because if we live much over that, it becomes overwhelming.”
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He tried. He really tried. Then he crumbled. Tears flowed, shoulders sagged, head dropped. It was a lie.
As he celebrates Father's Day more than 45 years later, he can see that it was actually a blueprint for being a father to three adopted sons and now five adopted grandchildren despite never really knowing his own father.
Richard Amend, now 59, was 3 years old when his father, Carl Amend, had a heart attack and died on Good Friday. He never really talked about it. Sure, he thought about what he didn't have, a father to go fishing with, a father to tell him what tools are used for building or fixing different things or a father whose lap he could sit in while reading the newspaper.
But he kept it in, until that seventh-grade assignment.
"I just made the whole thing up and yet I felt what I was writing was true,” he said. "I didn't realize that when we got to school, we would have to get up in front of the whole class and read it.
"And then as I read that, it really hit me hard that I had lost my dad. I just broke down crying, and the teacher didn't even know my dad had died.”
The essay told of a wonderful dad who spent time doing things with Amend, his mother Zelma and his four siblings.
"Again, I made the whole thing up,” he said.
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