An Appealing Girlfriend
An Appealing Girlfriend
Published: October 26, 2009
Greg Sanders of Evanston, Illinois, writes:
Marilyn: I have a girlfriend who is extremely intelligent. Her personality is amazing. She is somewhat homely but attractive in a unique way. She is my first real relationship, and the intimate stuff is great. We are staying in a long-distance relationship in college, but I have to admit I'm a little scared. She is expressing interest in staying with me for as long as she can. I have been the only one to ever express doubts about whether we should stay together.
I am a very ambitious person with tons of potential in music, writing, and other things, and I have lots of interests to keep me occupied. How far should I take this relationship if I want to actively and successfully pursue these things? What is the burden that a person undertakes when he or she gets married? I hate the idea of breaking her heart. I would also be devastated if I lost her. What should I do?
Marilyn responds:
If the idea of marriage seems like a burden now, it will become a crushing burden soon afterward. First, make a solemn promise to yourself that you won't get married, either to her or to anyone else, until you're established in a career. Then tell your girlfriend about it--preferably in person--and ask her to make the same promise to herself. In the meantime, you can continue your relationship.
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