You could call Elisabeth Badinter a very lucky woman. It's not just that she's wealthy, successful, a respected scholar and a best-selling writer in her home country, France (yep, she gets to live in Paris, too.)

It's also that Badinter, who specializes in provocative books about feminism and motherhood — including "The Conflict," just released in the United States — has never heard the expression "Mommy Wars."

"Ah, quelle horreur!" is her succinct response upon hearing the term (Translation: "How awful!") In France, she explains in a telephone interview, mothers don't judge each other's parenting choices quite so much — at least not publicly. The unspoken corollary: the Mommy Wars are a very American phenomenon.

And they are very much in the news these days. The confluence in less than a month of a campaign-trail scuffle involving Mitt Romney's wife, Ann; Badinter's new book; and most of all a provocative magazine cover — conveniently tied to Mother's Day — has led to a burst of online chatter and a renewal of those "Mommy Wars" headlines.

But it has also led to reflection, and calls for a cease-fire in those same wars, as well as a jettisoning of the phrase itself. Aren't we finally ready, some are asking, to give it a rest, and acknowledge what many already feel — that there are lots of ways to be a good mother?

"It's time to end the Mommy Wars," wrote Jen Singer recently on her blog, Mommasaid.net. "How about we all stop arguing over which mom works harder and whether or not Ann Romney worked at all and who bakes a better cookie, Hillary Clinton or Barbara Bush?"

"So who's with me?" wrote another prominent "mommy blogger," Katie Allison Granju. "Who will join my proposed campaign of non-violent resistance against the mommy wars?"

The term "Mommy Wars" has been around for at least two decades — it appeared in a 1990 Newsweek piece on the struggle between working and stay-at-home mothers. But the term seems to have expanded to encompass any divisive parenting issue, and it's recycled every time a new motherhood controversy arises.

So headline writers sprung to action when a Democratic consultant remarked on CNN in April that Ann Romney "never worked a day in her life" ? and thus was ill-equipped to educate her husband on the economic concerns of American women.

When Romney countered that raising five sons was hard work indeed, the consultant, Hilary Rosen, quickly apologized and called for "peace in this phony war." But the episode dovetailed nicely with the U.S. release soon after of Badinter's book, "The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women," which argues that women are held back, imprisoned even, by the current emphasis on "natural" motherhood — including extended breast-feeding, co-sleeping, and so-called "attachment parenting."

The 68-year-old Badinter emphasizes that she's not writing about American women in her book. But it's clear to her and everyone else that the issues she addresses are more pressing in the United States than in France. "It's true that it exists more in your country," she says, speaking in French. "It's a small minority in France, but I am still hearing it here, from young women, and I wanted to write about it to stop it from getting bigger."

Badinter has caused controversy before, arguing, for example, that there is no such thing as a "maternal instinct." She has long been associated with feminist causes, but this time, she feels what's holding women back is not men, but other women, and even (unwittingly) children, with the demands of "natural" motherhood.

Especially the emphasis on breast-feeding.

"We assign this guilt to women who don't breast-feed," she says. "Think how that weighs on each mother. 'It's a duty!' 'A duty of health!' I fight against that."

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