PURCELL - Murder suspect Kevin Ray Underwood wrote about himself for years on the Internet, revealing he's thought about killing someone "constantly," never had a girlfriend, is a loner and takes depression medication. He calls himself "SubSpecies 23" online and displayed an interest in cannibalism. He also admits to being into porn and going to strip clubs. Underwood, 26, confessed to FBI agents Friday that he killed a neighbor, Jamie Rose Bolin, 10, authorities said. Her body was found Friday in his apartment. Police alleged Saturday that part of his motive was to eat her body. Police said a meat tenderizer was found in his apartment. "I lead a pretty boring life," Underwood wrote in a profile on myspace.com. He wrote his job as a food stocker in Oklahoma City takes 13 hours a day five days a week. He wrote he spent most of his free time online playing an adventure game, Kingdom of Loathing. Underwood wrote he had few friends beyond those he has online. "The reason for my lackluster social life is a severe case of social anxiety and depression," he wrote. "I'm on medication now, which helps a lot. Well, in ways." He also revealed he is straight but has "been accused of being gay more than once" because of his shyness with women. "I love to cuddle, hug and kiss," he wrote. "That isn't to say I don't like sexual activity, though. I'm a very sexual being, though I haven't really had a chance to explore that side of life." Underwood wrote about his life the most -- hundreds of times -- on his own blog, a kind of Web-based diary. On his profile there, he asks: "If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?" He then answers: "The skin of last night's main course." In January, Underwood put the book, "Meat is Murder!: New Edition: An Illustrated Guide to Cannibal Culture," on a wish list at an Internet book provider, Amazon.com. He describes himself as a 1998 graduate of Purcell High School but a dropout at the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma in Chickasha. "I started to get panic attacks," Underwood wrote last September on his blog. "I'd skip class and just sit in my car for hours, or sit in the library, in the stacks where there weren't any people, and read." In the Sept. 8 posting, he also wrote he was becoming more and more detached from the world over the last year. Underwood described himself as walking around "like a zombie" whenever he left his apartment. "It gets worse every day," he wrote. "I withdraw farther and farther into myself with each passing week." Several postings are about sex; he describes his own, limited experience in one posting. Others are news accounts from around the world of odd events or tragedies, including a mass murder in California. Underwood repeatedly filled out quizzes about himself. He wrote in October 2004 that he was most afraid of "real ghosts and the thought of being abducted by aliens." In answers to another quiz in August 2004, he wrote: "I'm not really religious at all, but the few beliefs I do have are a complex mix of at least a dozen different religions and cults." Another question on the August 2004 quiz was: "Killed someone in your thoughts?" Underwood responded: "Constantly." He also wrote about his interest in comic books, computer games and cartoons. In some of Underwood's earliest postings in 2002, he wrote about reading novels on vampires over and over. Just before the first anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, Underwood wrote how he didn't care about the deaths. He wrote: "The same thing happened with the Murrah Building bombing ... I didn't care about that, and I don't care about the WTC. No one I know was involved in either of them, no one I know was hurt. And as long as none of my close friends or I are hurt, I don't give a ... how many people the terrorists kill."
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