Mr. Monday gives his congrats to Sam Bradford, who may have, kind of, almost, sort of, unofficially won the Oklahoma Sooners' quarterback derby on Saturday night.
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With four touchdown passes at OU's scrimmage, Bradford may not have won a gold seal from Bob Stoops just yet, but he did enough to win the electoral college vote in Mr. Monday's church foyer.
Not that Mr. Monday begrudges the Sooners their horse race — Stoopsie has managed to pick some winners ever since OU emerged from the Patrick Fletcher era, but once-a-week scrimmages don't satisfy the Jones for a runoff.
That's where Mr. Monday would stir the pot.
If you're really looking for a QB of a big-time school, your competition needs to be bigtime. "So You Think You Can Dance” big. "Battle of the Network Stars” big.
Road to the quarterback, round 1: feats of strength. Sure, Keith Nichol can roll out of the pocket, but how is he at lugging a refrigerator on his back for 100 yards? Can he toss a boulder over a fence on a beach in Barbados?
Mental strength is one thing. Raw Magnus Magnusson strength is something else.
Road to the quarterback, round 2: the YouTube debate. The QBs had their fun meeting the ink-stained reporting corps during OU media day, but how will they stand up to the blistering questions of people who spend too much time on the Internet. Beating Baylor is one thing, but how would Joey Halzle respond when LOLmonkey77 asks him why the government can't develop a car that runs on beer?
Be quick on your feet, fellas, but don't be suckered in when someone asks you to spoil the end of the last Harry Potter book. (Pssst, Hermione dies!)
Road to the quarterback, round 3: the sizzler. Are you ready for this, Sam Bradford? Eighteen holes at Southern Hills without a Dasani water bottle in sight. Average temperature — 115 degrees. Your mission: Find a shade tree or a Gatorade before someone is able to fry an egg on your forehead. For bonus points, rescue John Daly from drowning in his own sweat-drenched 84 Lumber/Hooters shirt.
Sam's no stranger to the golf course, so he may have the edge on that one.
But after Saturday night, he might be able to bench press a telephone poll, too.
Stay tuned.
And if he doesn't work out, there's always LOLmonkey77.
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I am FURIOUS that the following comment was included in the article entitled "Bradfor looks like a winner-Unofficially": "Be quick on your feet, fellas, but don't be suckered in when someone asks you to spoil the end of the last Harry Potter book. (Pssst, Hermione dies!)" You have now ruined the movie for me and countless others with this flippant/capricious comment. Decorum prohibits me from saying what I'm feeling.
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