Get Aways for Him

Published: September 28, 2007

Guys find manly refuge right at home

Men can find their ultimate getaway these days in their own homes.

They can retreat to their own rooms sporting big TVs, pool and shuffleboard games and comfortable, movie-style seating. Or, in one of the latest home building trends, they can venture outdoors to their own spots on the back patio for cooking out, watching football and smoking cigars, said Edmond home builder Caleb McCaleb.

It is the type of space more and more men are seeking. In his book “Manspace: A Primal Guide to Marking Your Territory” (Taunton Press, 2006) Sam Martin presents more than 50 examples of basements, attics, sheds, barns, closets and garages created especially for the man of the house — in fact, most constructed by the man of the house.

“I think that men have always had a space of their own. What’s changed is that space is becoming more elaborate,” Martin said. “Men are taking their spaces out of garages and basements and bringing them more out front … guys are becoming more emboldened to claim spaces.”

McCaleb said he sees home owners in Oklahoma who are interested in mostly sports-themed rooms with big TVs, whether flat-screened or projector-style. He knows of a Norman man who put a fireman’s pole going into his retreat so he could drop in there fast. He also has built themed rooms that feature Harley Davidsons, wild-game hunting and sports.

And often, the women are as involved in the planning — and enjoy it as much — as the men do, McCaleb said.

For many men in Oklahoma, a fall afternoon with a big screen and a Cowboy or Sooner football game is the top step on the stairway to heaven. Oklahoma City building contractor Chris Wiedenmann found his Nirvana, er … seventh heaven, so to speak … with seven televisions mounted throughout his own temple to University of Oklahoma football. Wiedenmann’s media room contains the essentials – a bar, a sofa, a big screen TV. But, it also has three smaller televisions mounted above the big screen, televisions above and beside the bar and another television for mounted perfect viewing from a corner table and chairs. Wiedenmann, his family and all of his neighbors agree. It’s a virtual “Big Red” paradise.

One reason Cale Bradford and his wife Rocío Romero purchased an old grain and timber farm in Perryville, Mo., was so Romero, a St. Louis architect who has gained a national following for her sleek prefabricated homes, would have a place to build prototypes. And Bradford had the perfect place for the prototype Romero called Fish Camp: next to Celine Creek, a prime smallmouth fishing stream that wound through the property. All Bradford asked in exchange was that the place be entirely his once it was completed.

Not lavish but not your traditional garage or basement workbench, Fish Camp is a place where Bradford can get away, where he spends many weekend mornings reading the paper and drinking coffee, where he holds an annual pig roast and invites friends to fish and recapture some of the camaraderie that he’d been missing since work, family and other responsibilities curtailed fishing weekends.

Bradford equipped Fish Camp with mid-century furniture, including a funky red 1960s Sears, Roebuck and Co. fireplace and samples from his collection of propaganda posters. The 12-by-25, one-story, steel-sided structure, made of structurally insulated panels, sits on cement pillars to accommodate potential high water from the creek and features a 12-by-25 deck for outdoor relaxation.

Bradford and Martin are not alone in their views about the rise in men’s interest in carving out their own distinctive spaces at home. Real estate professionals say that buyers’ demands for extra rooms that can be turned into hangouts and workshops is one of the major trends in home searches.

“Quite a few men have a cigar room, usually upstairs, maybe with a balcony and a pool table,” says Lori McGuire, a RE/MAX real estate agent in Orange County, Calif. “They tell their wives, ‘You can pick the house as long as I can get a cigar room.’”

Blame it at least partially on the do-it-yourself craze. Men see specialized rooms built on shows like “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” and get the bug to create their own spaces. Material, means and ideas are more accessible than ever.

“But it’s also a symptom of men who, to a certain extent, are kind of going through an identity crisis,” says Martin. These spaces “are a way to establish who they are, a way that men can express themselves by putting something on a wall that they might not normally do.”

Surprisingly, many of the rooms found in Martin’s book and elsewhere defy the male stereotype. “I expected to find big screen TVs and overstuffed couches and sports memorabilia. But I found everything from a Japanese tea room to a tugboat to a teepee to a climbing wall,” says Martin.

Theater sound systems, plasma screens and rooms filled with autographed football jerseys and baseball cards are well-represented in Martin’s book, but the cross-section of the rooms men designed or outfitted for themselves is much more diverse. At one end of the spectrum, Philadelphia resident Gary Reighn transformed his basement into a home theater, but not just any old home theater. This one looks like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, complete with windows that look out onto distant “stars” and a sliding pocket entry door, just like on Star Trek.

At the other end, photographer Matthew Benson turned a former two-stall stable on his and his wife’s 19th century farmhome land in the Hudson River Valley into a business office/studio. Benson replaced stall doors with paneled glass patio doors, built a bookcase and armoire and generally restored the entire interior and exterior to a refined yet rustic splendor.

Edmond builder McCaleb said income levels don’t really matter when it comes to decide whether to put such a retreat in a home. He’s seen inexpensive home entertainment rooms in expensive homes and vice versa. “It kind of depends what their passion is instead of their income level,” McCaleb said.

Despite all his research, Martin says he could come to no clear definition of what a man space is. It has more to do with control over the look and content of the space and creating an atmosphere in which a person feels comfortable and has a sense of sole ownership. The rooms can be as plain or elaborate as a person wants.

“You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a man space,” says Martin, although many of the rooms in the book look like they cost as much or more than a top-of-the-line kitchen remodel. “A man space is as small as a good set of headphones and a comfortable chair. Wherever a guy can feel as thought he won’t be interrupted and can be himself and do his thing.”

The biggest piece of advice Martin offers to a man who wants to stake a claim to his own space is not to act unilaterally. Even if a room is to be the dominion of the male of the household, Martin says always get clearance from a spouse, girlfriend or partner, with the understanding that the significant other will not have say in the ultimate design.

It could be a challenge, Martin says, although one that is usually overcome. There are real, legitimate reasons to assign a space to the man of the house. For collectors, it’s always a great argument to get collections out of main part of home. The same goes for the clutter from hobbyists and people who work at home. “Most women are really supportive. Some are absolutely thrilled. Most people said it was actually better for their relationships,” says Martin. “I’m a perfect example of that.”

The author built a 12-by-14 shed/office in his backyard for $3,000. The structure features large glass-paneled windows on three sides, electricity and a finished wood interior. The space has become his writer’s garret.

Before he built the retreat, Martin worked in the house.

“And when deadlines approach, writing can put a person in a disagreeable mood, and my wife and kids had to put up with me,” he says. Since he relocated to the office shed, Martin has fewer distractions and his family doesn’t have to deal with deadline anxiety.

To Martin’s eye, the quintessential man space is John Morgan’s. Morgan and his wife Natasha purchased a two-bedroom bungalow in Austin, Texas, in 2000. The property included a 200-square-foot carriage house that was packed to the rafters with old appliances and unsalvageable furniture, but had great lighting and plenty of electrical sockets. (A previous owner had used it as a workshop.)

Morgan co-opted the space, installing a bar, a dart board, a small refrigerator and other paraphernalia before Natasha realized it was being transformed. While the stealth method of carving out personal space is not advisable, Martin warns, in this case Natasha went along with the metamorphosis anyway.

Neon signs, beer cans, music posters, garage-sale furniture and the classic leg lamp soon filled the room. Natasha’s brothers and father began spending time in what they started calling the man-house. Friends began donating everything from old radios to mannequins and the carriage house quickly became a repository for not only memorabilia that struck Morgan’s fancy but all his friends’ as well.

Says Martin, “When you see it, you immediately know it is a man space.”

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