Mr. Monday was all ready to write about OU-Texas today, as were a busload of other folks.
Unfortunately, the Sooners and Longhorns didn't oblige us with the most hyped matchup in the history of Western Civilization. Not since "Cannonball Run II” has something so failed to live up to Mr. Monday's expectations.
The question is, when the No. 3 vs. No. 7 matchup is reduced to a showdown between the third-best teams in the Big 12 North, what better can you do with your time?
(Just a side note here before starting the comedy styling. Losing to the Big 12 North? We've been using the North as a consistent punch line since Donnie Duncan first did the hokey-pokey with the Southwest Conference to agree to the deal. OU and Texas losing to North schools on the same Saturday is like winning the Powerball, financing your own private army and then surrendering to France.)
Whew, long way for that one, Mr. Monday.
You can see, this deal has got Mr. Monday flummoxed. During the Stoopsie Era, the first Saturday in October has been reserved for solid satire and cheap shots at E.Z. Million. Now Mr. Monday has to come up with an even better excuse for not mowing the yard on Saturday.
What else is there to do? Observe.
•OSU vs. A&M for the Big 12 South lead. No, Mr. Monday didn't see that one coming. No, Mr. Monday isn't making any jokes at the Pokes' expense.
•Extreme Halloween decorating. Have you been through the creepy holiday aisle at Wal-Mart lately? Old-school Mr. Monday remembers when cardboard cutouts of skeleton and warty-nosed witches did the trick. Now everything is made of Styrofoam, talks, lights up and sprays fake blood all over your yard if you press the right button.
And nothing says friendly neighbor like that giant inflatable hearse and corpse in the front yard.
•Countdown to basketball season. Here's something as fun as license plate bingo on the long trip to Grandma's house!
Game No. 1: Name the team. If you can come up with the names of any eight guys who will play for either OU or OSU, you win a prize.
Game No. 2: Continue to entertain yourself by thinking you can take Courtney Paris one-on-one, big boy.
Game No. 3: Spot Jeff Capel in a crowd. Kinda like Where's Waldo, but there are fewer people in Lloyd Noble than in those drawings.
•Finally, you can always go back and watch the Tivos of the first part of the season. Remember when OU beat Utah State? That was awesome.
Mr. Monday can include some of those highlights in the Holiday Bowl preview.
