Danger threatens
These self-defense tips might save your life
These self-defense tips might save your life

By Heather Warlick

Published: March 31, 2008

Sondra Fleming says she is always vigilant about safety. She drove around until she could park in the space closest to the front of the store the night of March 1. She was in a well-lighted area, and plenty of people were nearby.

Still, as she was loading groceries into her sport utility vehicle, a man attacked her and dragged her partially into a car. A woman screamed for help, grabbed Fleming's free arm and hung onto her until the man let Fleming go, snatched her purse and sped away.

But what could Fleming have done differently to possibly avoid the experience?

"If we would pay attention to our gut instinct, we would keep ourselves out of dangerous situations,” said Jennifer Newell, a Norman police officer who teaches what she calls the "common-sense approach” to self-defense.

"When I talk to people, I don't want them to be paranoid. I want them to be aware. We don't live in a society right now where we can keep our heads down and not look at people. As she (Fleming) was loading her groceries into her car, was she looking around and watching people? Did she see this person approaching and think, ‘Wow, that's a little strange,' or was she in her own zone?”

Newell said that she would never say that Fleming was at fault for her attack. In fact, she said, if a "bad guy” decides that he wants to do something bad to you, often there is little or nothing you can do to keep him from trying.

Fleming admitted that she had a false sense of security because many people were in the parking lot that night. But after nearly being violently abducted by a stranger, Fleming said her life has changed in many ways, most especially her outlook on personal safety.

"Don't think that you're safe just because you think that you are,” she said. "It's made me be very suspicious of people walking behind me. I will really slow down or I will stop and turn around until they get past me. I don't want anyone behind me now. That's really kind of weird, and I hope that goes away after a while. I've always been so very cautious, I don't know how much more cautious I can be.”

But being cautious and being prepared are different things. These days, Fleming holds pepper spray rather than keeping it in her purse when she's out.

Newell said she thinks some weapons such as pepper spray, mace, stun guns and even handguns can be good tools for personal security. Yet it is important to know exactly how to use the weapon and to consider the situation you might be using it in. For example, if it is a windy day, you should be aware that a pepper spray could blow back in your own face.

"You hear so many stories about how it affects people and in some cases how it doesn't affect them,” she said. "If you spray somebody, don't stick around to see how much it hurts. You spray and you get out of there. It's not about staying in the fight. It's about hurting the person enough so you can get out of the fight.”

Newell educates people about personal safety in different areas of life — while at home, in a car, out in public, even while on the Internet.

Here are tips from Newell to help you stay safe.

Keep your doors locked when you're home and when you're not. Many people don't think to lock the doors while they are home, but that can be a prime time when home invasions occur.

Don't answer the door just because someone knocks. If you don't know the person, talk to them through the door. Let them know that you see them but that you don't answer the door for strangers.

Don't leave a spare key hidden around your home. If you must have an extra key, give one to a trusted neighbor or leave it at work.

Don't say that you are not home on your answering machine. Some would-be intruders actually do call first. On your message, just say that you can't get to the telephone.

If you are going out of town, arrange for a trusted neighbor to collect your mail and newspapers. Not only does this eliminate the tell-tale newspaper pile-up, but activity around your home while you are away can help deter a criminal.

Be careful how you list your phone number. If you really want it listed, use only your first initial and leave out the street address.

Trust your instincts. If a situation doesn't feel comfortable, that could be your instincts telling you to get yourself out of there.

Stay aware of your surroundings. If you see someone that you don't know approaching you, get in your car and lock the doors, call 911 or shout for help. It's better to be a little embarrassed by a false alarm than to be sorry you didn't react.

If your car has a panic button, be ready to use it while walking through a parking lot. If you have a stun gun or pepper spray, have it in hand.

Make yourself as large and as loud as possible. If you feel threatened, make noise and attract attention to your situation.

Just get away. Trying to fight off an attacker can make a bad situation worse. If you can avoid any physical contact, that is your best plan.

Keep your doors locked.

Keep your cell phone nearby in case you need to use it quickly.

Travel in a group. Criminals are less apt to attack a group of people than an individual.

But, like Fleming, you can be a very cautious person and still find yourself in a bad position. Knowing how to defend yourself physically is the next step in staying safe. Mark Hale is an ATA Black Belt Academy instructor who teaches a course called SHARP, an acronymn that stands for Sexual Harassment, Assault, Rape Prevention.

"If someone attacks you, give them the finger,” he said. Using your ring, middle and index fingers together to jab an assailant in the throat or eyes can deter an attacker long enough for you to run.

"If you kick me in the crotch and I'm a bad guy, I was just going to take your purse, but now I'm going to spend some time beating you with it. But if you reach up and you scratch both of my eyes, well I can't see you walk to your car. You use what you've got that works.”

Self-defense courses are geared to give you skills to practice and the confidence to use them, Hale said. But no course can be effective if you don't take home what you've learned home and practice the techniques over and over. Being prepared is a combination of knowledge, confidence and technique.

But there are some simple tips Hale offered for fighting off an attacker. He said that if you stiffen up, you are easier to move. So, if you are being attacked, you could collapse. The base of your hand and the heel of your foot are two strong parts of your body that can inflict some damage on an attacker. Biting also is effective. Hale also said that if you walk with confidence and maintain awareness and eye contact with the people around you, you are less likely to be attacked.

"A rapist and a child molester can't stand confidence, so if your shoulders are correct like you're walking down the catwalk and your eye contact is like the man that does the evening news and your voice is correct, you're not going to be selected,” he said.

Hale not only teaches adult self-defense classes, he also is Kid's Safety Net certified and teaches children self-defense courses. All the classes he teaches are free, and he volunteers his time. He said that no matter what your age, size or condition, if you take the time to learn and continually practice self-defense techniques, you can effectively defend yourself.

To schedule free self-defense classes for your group of friends or co-workers, call Hale at 364-5426 or 447-5425.

Comments