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When the Gold Star Wives of America met for a regional conference this weekend in Oklahoma City, the military widow and widower service organization encountered a generational gap that its volunteers are eager to bridge.

There were no spouses of soldiers killed in the Iraq war among the 27 members in attendance.

"There are so many widows and widowers out there that are hard to reach,” said Kathy Upchurch, Gold Star Wives' national president.

"It's more than having other people who know what you're going through. Some of the people we talk to had no idea they were even entitled to receive some of the benefits they're supposed to get, much less how to get them.”

Upchurch, of Phoenix, and five other members met Sunday morning in the lobby of the Hilton Garden Inn, 801 S Meridian Ave.

While they said they enjoyed meeting with other members to discuss the challenges they face, it was unanimous that their organization's most serious challenge is connecting with widows and widowers who are facing battles, both practical and emotional, by themselves.

"It's not just the Iraq war, either,” said Marie Jordan-Speer, who founded the organization after her husband, Edward Jordan, was killed in Germany during World War II in November 1944.

"Many people (in the military) died years later because of a disability or something else related to it (their service). Agent Orange is a good example of that.”

The group of Gold Star Wives gathered in Oklahoma City on Sunday morning included women whose husbands died in military service during conflicts around the world, organizers said.

Gathered were women whose husbands were killed in action or died years later from service-related wounds or injuries.

Oklahoma City's ImaJean Thornton last saw her husband, Marine Sgt. Howard W. Murray, when he left to fight in the Korean War. He went missing in November 1950 and was declared dead three years later.

Eleanor Roosevelt was one of the original board members of the organization. Jordan-Speer contacted the former first lady after her husband, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, died in office before the end of the war, and Roosevelt signed on to help the cause. That helped put Gold Star Wives, which began with a few widows meeting in Jordan-Speer's New York apartment, on the national stage.

"She was a war widow, too,” said Jordan-Speer, who now lives in Corpus Christi, Texas.

The common bond between Jordan-Speer, Upchurch and Thornton is the desire to unite