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Sunday Conversation ... on grief
Mary LeBeau and husband Jay LeBeau of Edmond were at a movie when their son Matthew called on the night of July 13, 2003.
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•There is never a charge to attend a meeting. What is said at meetings is treated as confidential.
•For more information: The 24-hour line in Oklahoma is 789-8840. The state Web site is tcfoklahoma.com. The number of the Oak Brook, Ill., national office is (630) 990-0010. Or visit the Web site at compassionate
friends.org
"Mom, come home,” he said.
He'd had a headache before they left.
"Do you need me to call 911?” she asked.
"No, just come home,” he said.
Her cell phone signal faded as they ran out of the theater. When she got it back, she immediately called 911.
When the LeBeaus reached home, their 23-year-old son was on the floor in their bedroom. He had died of a brain aneurysm.
Mary LeBeau is chairman of the North Oklahoma City Chapter of The Compassionate Friends, a national nonprofit, self-help support organization that offers "friendship, understanding and hope” to families grieving the death of a child of any age, regardless of the cause.
Q: What did you find when you went to your first meeting in November after Matthew's death in July?
A: When we went to the first meeting I didn't want to walk through those doors. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want it to be real that Matthew was dead. We walked into the room, and we're crying and we heard laughter. And it's OK.
We thought ‘These people know what we're going through.' We found The Compassionate Friends to be a place of fellowship, understanding and nurturing. We thought ‘Maybe someday we'll have laughter in our home again.'”
Q:People often grieve differently. Relate that to your family, your husband as well as your daughters Jennifer and Jaycee and son Michael.
A: Jay, my husband, is very quiet and reserved. It was difficult for him because Matt worked for him as well. So he had no place in this world where he could go without some reminder of Matt. So he's very different than I am. I'm out there with it. Anything to try to stop the pain. The kids, they each one handled it very, very differently.
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