Buttons never felt this lucky

The mantra of jingling tones is strangely soothing in the cool, dark belly of this smoky beast. If things go my way, I may not have to work again.

I'm inside one of the largest casinos in Oklahoma, where they say you can win a lot of money. They never say you can lose money, but I hear that's possible, too.

I have my bankroll — $20 — and I'm feeling lucky. Not the lucky where you think you'll win, but more of the I'm-not-at-a-desk lucky. Still, there's a chance I could hit a jackpot, even if the buzz-kill experts say odds are better I'll get struck by lightning.

My first stop: "Holy Mackerel.” It's a slot machine, a device formerly known as a "one-armed bandit” until crank arms were replaced by buttons. Perhaps now we would call it a multibuttoned bandit.

Odds are better in blackjack, poker and other table games, they say. But I'm not much of a gambler, so I leave those to the players who wear sunglasses in the dark and know what "flop,” "kicker” and "wonger” mean.

If things go my way, I could "win up to 40,000.” It says so right on the machine. Just put in money and press stuff. Simple. Unless you want to actually understand what's happening to your money, which by the way, is no longer money but credits. On this nickel machine, I have 400.

I button through pages of rules. "Blowfish symbols scattered on reels 1, 3 and 5 trigger the blowfish bonus.” "Pick a puffer and win up to 25X bonus.” "Game plays left to right only.” "Holy Mackerel symbol is wild.” Whatever. Basically, pick how many "lines” to play and how much to bet on each. Then push, baby, push.

Digital reels spin, then stop one at a time, displaying cartoony sea critters that belong on a child's backpack.

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