Man says to his doctor, "My wife thinks she’s a chicken.”
"How long’s she been that way?” the doctor responds.
"Why haven’t you done something?”
"We need the eggs!”
This shard of Borscht Belt humor is cited in response to news that Republican politicians who oppose an earmark-laden appropriations bill are nevertheless putting in their own earmarks. Pork’s bad, they say, but we need the bacon.
U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn is the cheese that stands alone in this scrambled scenario. While others serve up a frittata with a dash of hypocrisy and soupcon of inconsistency, his goal is to reduce earmarks to a big goose egg — as in zero.
Appropriations bills are like omelets. There are a hundred ways to make them, but they all feature eggs. If one is being made anyway, might as well make it tastier for the folks back home!
Coburn is adored for his principled stance on pork but criticized for not bringing home more bacon. His fellow short-order cooks in the Oklahoma delegation are less willing to serve meatless meals. They’re uncomfortable letting other states get the goods while they, out of principle, fast for the day.
Pushing a bland version of an appropriations bill and then spicing it up at the last minute is indeed inconsistent. But to those troubled by this and who also opposed recent tax cuts, we ask the following: Did you refuse your higher net income?
Or did you try the veal?