Parents, children debate appropriate age for activities, responsibilities

There are debates between parents and their children in households across the country.

At what age is Junior ready for a cell phone?

Children typically have a lot to say about these issues, but the decision ultimately rests with parents.

It’s not always easy to decide, but we’ve gathered a few tips from experts at local agencies and online on the various topics.

Debbie Richardson, assistant extension specialist at the Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service in Stillwater, said parents must take into account the development and maturity of their children when deciding whether to increase responsibility.

"Children don’t develop some of the more complex reasoning skills like we think they do,” she said. "Sometimes we expect children to understand and see risky situations the way we do, and often they don’t.”

Richardson said she recommends that parents start communicating with their children early — before the teen years — to set boundaries.

"Let them know that if they have a problem with something, they can talk to you,” she said. "The more interaction you have with them, the better able you will be to determine if they are able to handle certain responsibilities.”

Robyn Sears, child development specialist with the Oklahoma City-County Health Department’s Child Guidance Clinic, said parents may try to come up with a certain age for added responsibilities such as staying home alone and dating, but factors including maturity, culture and family dynamics can play key roles in making such parental decisions.

"Some of these decisions, like leaving a child home alone, could depend on where you live,” she said. "Parents have to take all these things into consideration.”

Cell phone

Online at www.radicalparenting.com, writer Vanessa Van Petten offers several tips for parents thinking about buying a cell phone for their child. She offers this advice:

→Talk to your child. Find out whether he wants a cell phone and why. You want him to be on the same page as you, so there are no surprises (such as getting his hopes up for a BlackBerry but ultimately getting a Disney telephone). This also will help you have an idea of how he plans on using it to get the most cost-effective plan.

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