Haitians get in tune with new Oklahoma homes

Six Haitian children — including Tiken and Ebby, who came to Oklahoma last month — are adapting to new lifestyles with local families who have pledged to adopt them. During interviews at their homes and on the phone last week, three of those families discussed how they have been adjusting during the last four weeks. They’ve had some meltdowns along the way as they struggle with cultural differences, language barriers, night terrors and attachment issues.

But parents said even their most frustrating moments have been overshadowed by the joy they’ve experienced and the bonds they’ve formed during moments like the impromptu nighttime dance party.

Tiken and Ebby’s jam session soon dissipated into a fit of giggles as the boys started poking each other with their prospective microphones during a mock sword fight.

"Gentle,” their future adoptive mom and 18-year-old sister coaxed, laughing as the boys started drumming on each other’s helmets. Then the adults turned the music off and lifted the boys from the counter to signify the party was over. It was time for a bath.

The children were exposed to some English at their orphanage in Haiti when missionaries visited each month. Parents said the children understand English better than they speak it, and their confidence and comprehension increase every day.

They rely on nonverbal cues when words fail, but making their needs known is frustrating at times without the ability to explain.

An interpreter has talked to the children several times to explain what is happening. The Lechtenbergs said they will continue to use an interpreter to reassure the boys and learn more about their needs as time progresses.

"It’s a different kind of parenting,” said Belinda Lechtenberg, Tiken and Ebby’s future adoptive mom. "The ground is not level for them. They don’t know where they stand. They don’t know how long this lasts.”

Trying to communicate abstract concepts, like sharing, is most difficult, Jennifer Dewitt said. She and her husband, Jeff, are working to adopt 7-year-old Gardina.

On Tuesday morning, Jennifer Dewitt couldn’t figure out what Gardina was asking for before school. Eventually they had to leave without it, and Gardina was in tears.