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Coppernoll: Daytime television distorts reality

Spending a day home while ill brainwashed Oklahoman columnist Carrie Coppernoll into believing she needed a Hoveround scooter and motorcycle repair training, among other things.
BY CARRIE COPPERNOLL Published: May 23, 2012

If you spend too much time home sick on the couch, you start to question reality.

I recently spent a few days at home because I was sick.

Whenever I'm home, I get bored after the first, say, two hours.

Once “The Price Is Right” is over, the rest of the day is pretty much downhill.

But when you're in a medicine-induced fog and you're watching daytime television, you start to really question what's happening in the world.

Why does Dora's monkey wear boots but no pants?

Why isn't “Matlock” on in prime time?

How could they possibly cancel “GCB”?

What if I'm secretly on an ambush-style makeover show and I'm just lying here on the couch like a schlub?

Who is Nancy Grace shouting at?

How does one become a bailiff for Judge Judy?

Who did shoot J.R.?

But even with so many questions unanswered, I did learn a lot about myself from daytime TV.

These are the facts I discovered:

I am interested in motorcycles and would like to learn how to repair them. Even though I screamed like a child on a roller coaster when I was going 35 mph as a passenger on my dad's motorcycle, bike repair is the way to go for me. Honestly, I don't think anything mechanical should be my fallback career.

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