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Husband has cheated four times

John Gray answers readers' questions about their relationships.
By John Gray Published: November 15, 2012
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DEAR JOHN: My husband has cheated on me about four times since we've been married. He claims that he slept with these other women because of my attitude at home and because of his distrust of me. I think he did exactly what he wanted to do, and I have been battling with this realization. Sometimes I want to walk away from this marriage, but, because I have children, I am hesitant to leave. I care about my husband. He is a great friend, but I don't know if I really love him anymore.

— Cheated, in Scranton, Pa.

DEAR CHEATED: Your husband is not a great “friend,” let alone an honest person or a caring husband. His claim that he did not trust you has nothing to do with his infidelity, nor did your “attitude” create this problem. He is unwilling to take the blame for his own actions. Worse yet, he looks to blame you. Staying in this marriage “for the children” is not smart. They can see what is happening. Not only will they lose respect for you, they may take your acceptance as approval for this kind of behavior and copy it for themselves. Is that what you want?

I don't think so. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people who love and respect each other. Ask him to reconsider his behavior. If he won't, then you should reconsider your life with him.

DEAR JOHN: My girlfriend “Cindy” and I have been together for a year, and we have lived together for most of that time. Cindy's ex-boyfriend “Mike” has been a constant obstacle in our relationship. He has our phone number and calls frequently, as much as three or four times a day! In the past, Cindy has cheated on me with him, although she claims she doesn't want to get back together with Mike, but she doesn't want him completely out of her life because Mike is very attached to Cindy's two little girls. Cindy says that she hopes that eventually they can be “just friends.” I don't understand this at all! Is there any real potential for us?

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