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Health. Thousands of swine flu vaccines pass their expiration date, rendering them unusable. Those of you who didn’t get one: you’ll be sorry when I survive Swine Flu Armageddon.

Environment. A disease called pine wilt is, you know, wilting pines. Look out for people wilt!

Politics. Sen. Tom Coburn announced he’ll oppose the nomination of Elena Kagan. He’ll also oppose everything else. Ever.

Sports. Thunder assistant general manager Rich Cho announces he’s leaving to run the Portland Trail Blazers. Cho is a go.

Real estate. A local pastor is paying $3 million for the old John Marshall High School so he can turn it into a boarding school for at-risk kids. So it will be a school for the kids who used to attend the school.

A pastor bought the old John Marshall High School for $3 million.

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