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Today my column is about buying animals as Easter gifts, and it got me thinking about what I got one Easter. I was 8.

I tried to be as quiet as possible as I sneaked into the bathroom.I knew it was somewhere in the house, but where? I’d searched my bedroom, and the closests. There was no way I’d be able to check my parents’ room, so I went to the bathroom as a last resort.

I drew open the cabinet door under the sink.

Jackpot.

The Easter bunny had left my basket early. Inside was candy and an M.C. Hammer tape.

Life could not get any better.

Please, Hammer. Don’t hurt ‘em.