Back in 1990, I was solidly in the Madchester camp and had the floppy hair to go with it, and so “Pills, Thrills and Bellyaches” by Happy Mondays was standard listening — it was twisting my melon, man, and while the disc is more of a time capsule of Tony Wilson-led Hacienda excess and doesn’t really achieve anything close to timelessness, it is not without its long-lasting charms, particularly “Step On,” which George Michael stole from with great abandon for “Freedom 90.”
But thanks to the fine folks at Idolator, I’ve now heard the worst song of the year. “Jelly Bean” is the first new song from the Mondays since the drug meltdown that rendered 1992′s “Yes, Please” one of the most horrendous discs of the decade. But “Jelly Bean” is easily more abysmal than anything on “Yes, Please,” a five-minute exercise in sound waste. If there is any possible way to recall this sludge from cyberspace, do it.
Parliament should pass laws against Shawn Ryder being allowed near microphones. I’m not a physically violent person, but this song made me want take up hockey just for the fighting.