DVD Review: “The Hottie & the Nottie”

Rating: 13 

With its pitch-black heart, a values system seemingly cribbed from prison graffiti and some of the most atrocious acting this side of a late-night chat line commercial, “The Hottie & the Nottie” induces dull nausea. That unsettled stomach comes from an insulting story and script, and is only mildly compounded by Paris Hilton’s presence. Yes, Hilton is not the primary cause of this film’s failure.

Joel David Moore plays Nate Cooper, a failing songwriter who became obsessed with Cristabel Abbott (Hilton) in elementary school, but her undying friendship with June Phigg (Christine Lakin) who has always had bad skin, bushy facial hair and rotten teeth, always got in the way. When Joel returns to Los Angeles after a bad breakup, he tries to reunite with Cristabel, but his object of desire refuses to date him unless June is fixed up with someone.