Clearly, there’s a “buy-in” factor that is so crucial to enjoying “My Bloody Valentine 3D,” the 2009 remake of the 1981 slash-tastic psycho-killer thriller — viewers are either there to watch monstrously gory impalements and partial decapitations, or they are not. This is not even a comparatively highbrow return to hallowed ground a la Zack Snyder’s remake of “Dawn of the Dead” — “My Bloody Valentine 3D” is nothing but mining equipment aimed straight at young, dumb and pretty people, maximized for three-dimensional nastiness.
A decade after several teens are brutally killed by deranged miner Harry Warden, the survivors including Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles), his girlfriend Sarah (Jaime King) and Axel (Kerr Smith) are all living scarred lives. Tom returns after all this time to find Sarah and Axel married, and he is now the chief suspect of the crimes. But soon Harry resumes his killing spree, and heads are going to roll.
This is best enjoyed as an exceptionally gross amusement park ride — “My Bloody Valentine 3D” is nihilistic to the point that it becomes darkly comic. As for the DVD, viewers must make do with old-fashioned two-color anaglyph glasses — the new technology that makes films like this, ahem, pop in theaters is not widely available for home use. But some viewers won’t mind all that reddish hue: after all, it’s the primary color in “My Bloody Valentine 3D.”