Eatin’ it up

Need a little something to feed your hunger for national championships?

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Lest you can’t get enough of the national championship fever this time of year, fear not. All of the titles haven’t been handed out just yet.

This weekend, a champ will be crowned at the inaugural Collegiate Nationals Eating Championship.

Yep, eating.

CBS College Sports has even picked up the broadcast rights. So, let me get this straight. In the same month that CBS is responsible for the Final Four and the Master’s, it’s also doing the eating championship. How can that be?

This comes straight from the just-when-you-thought-things-in-sports-couldn’t-get-any-crazier file.

The eating championship will feature college-style food. Hamburgers. Hot dogs. French fries. Guess no one told them if they wanted true college food, they’d have gone with Ramen noodles and Pop Tarts.

The rules of the contest prohibit any dunking, mashing or mutilating of the food. The Eating Commissioner — I swear, I’m not making this part of the story up — says that it’s important to pay respect to the food.

Um, stuffing massive qualities of it in your gullet is considered respectful?

And you thought Jerry Jones wanting to trade for Pacman Jones was crazy.