Taco Monkeys and Tuesdays Always Get Me Down

Chef Ryan Parrott, the face of Taco Tuesday. Just don't tell Taco John or else he will send in Whiplash the Wonder Monkey.

Not so says Taco John’s, a purveyor of quick-Mex from the taco mecca that is Cheyenne, Wyoming. Taco John’s, which has twice failed to penetrate the Oklahoma market, sent a cease and desist order to the Iguana Mexican Grill last week, demanding the use of ”Taco Tuesday,” well, cease and desist. A Twitter donnybrook  has ensued, with the unlucky Tweeter charged with manning the Taco John’s account being bludgeoned by a barrage of snarky and occasionally profane Tweets. The poor kid charged with managing the Taco John’s Twitter account deserves a raise.

I may be one of the few people in the world who’ve been to Taco Tuesday at Taco John’s AND the Iguana. Yes, when I was a freshman at York College in Nebraska, I did on more than one occassion darken drive-thru at Taco John’s. Hey, it was the 80s, I was in the proverbial experimental phase. Don’t judge. Plus, they didn’t have Taco Bell in York.

I’m not proud of my Taco John’s daze. I did indeed partake in the consumption of meat that appeared to have been squeezed from a tube into a corn tortilla shell, dashed with lettuce and cheese and handed out a window — and at a discount on Tuesdays.

But there’s no discounting my shame. Meanwhile, chef Parrott and friends serve up outstanding street tacos every Tuesday, using a variety of interesting fillings. In fact, I’m getting hungry for one just typing about it.

Now, it’s been more than two decades since I’ve been to Taco John’s. I never made it to either of Johnny’s failed attempts in the metro. Perhaps they’ve risen from the ashes of sub-mediocrity the way Taco Mayo has the past decade. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Regardless, there’s not forgiving this silly use of proprietary rights, which has zero effect on Taco John’s other than the fact that #tacotuesday on Twitter might confuse their “fans.” Perhaps Taco John’s thinks if people are dumb enough to eat their prefab tacos, they’re too dumb to realize there’s a difference between Taco John’s and the Iguana. I’m no mind-reader, but I’m inclined to think Taco John’s doesn’t give its customers much credit. The evidence is in their belief that a monkey riding a dog would initiate the desire to eat cheap Mexican food.

Without further ado, I give you a gay caballero called Whiplash. I apologize in advance.