Simon Cowell gets Carmen Electra-fied

Simon Cowell is riding Carmen Electra’s charge. (Allegedly.)

In an interview with Access Hollywood, the star didn’t dodge speculation that the two of them are more than friends after meeting on the set of “Britain’s Got Talent.”

Neat! Four big jugs in one baby relationship.

“He’s so cute. He’s adorable, he’s actually a sweetheart,” Electra said. “I really like him, I think he’s very cool.”

Oh honey, calm down. Your Electra slide is showing. And it’s frizzy.

Sidenote, the broad is releasing a single, “I Like It Loud,” on Nov. 13.

So, she sings now.

Kiss from a rose — or a bodyguard

Since Heidi Klum started boning the bodyguard, Martin Kirsten, she told Ellen DeGeneres that she is “very happy.”

Then she told Katie Couric, “I’ve known him for four years. He’s cared for our entire family and I trust him tremendously. I trust him with my children’s life. He’s a great man.”

I presume, much like their father, Seal — who spit said spawn into the supermodel’s cervix (how’s that for alliteration?), prior to her banging the help.

Whitney Houston, can I get a 10-4? (A “what, what” will also suffice.)

And I-I-I-I will always love yooooooou.

Good talk.

Britney the author

Ah, for cuss sake.

Britney Spears is penning a fictional novel about her life. “Cheetos and Celexa: Inside a Pop Tart’s Drawers” (that was me) will span a fictional character following her perils.

---