20-40-60 Etiquette---Proper toasts at the rehearsal dinner?
YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!
QUESTION: Recently I was at an engagement party for my sister. When the host gave a toast, I felt like I should give one too, but I didn’t because I didn’t know the protocol for toasting. I want to be prepared for the rehearsal dinner, so could you please tell me some tips for toasting. Do I use my wine glass? Water glass? Do I stand up? How long should my toast be? Can I read it?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: When my sister was getting married and I was the maid of honor, my mom bought me a book about toasts and etiquette “how tos.”
There were many different ways you could toast, almost all of them said the maid of honor should say something. I modernized this and gave my toast at the rehearsal dinner. I felt that since her wedding reception was not a sit -down dinner, this would be the best time. Almost everyone gave a toast. Some ad-libbed but I didn’t want to mess up so I read mine. My toast was the longest but it didn’t matter to me, it was for my sister and her husband.
Raise your glass at the end “to the bride and groom” and for sure stand up, people want to see who is talking. You can’t mess up something when you are giving your best wishes. I cherished every moment with my sister during this time… we had so much fun!
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: As long as you’re speaking from the heart, I don’t think it matters whether you use your wine or water glass or whether you read your toast or speak off the cuff. This is your opportunity to give your sister a meaningful send-off into married life. I’d try to keep your toast short, especially if others are to follow, and not tell any off-color stories that would embarrass her in front of friends and family members.
Other than that, toast away, even if you just get up to say briefly how happy you are for the soon-to-be newlyweds and how much you love your sister.
HELEN’S ANSWER: What a wonderful opportunity for you to tell your sister how much she means to you. You can also stand up and talk about the upcoming marriage and include your future brother-in-law in your accolades as well. You can use your wine glass to toast. You can read it or just give a short toast from the heart. You can write a poem. You can enjoy being the sister of the bride. It is a great time for everyone!
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