RSVP on time? 20-40-60 answers

YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE

What is the appropriate approach for a host or hostess to take when the RSVP  requests on an invitation are not responded to by invited guests, and multiple planning details rely on the guests to have the decency/manners to answer before a deadline? Of course, for future events, they clearly will not be invited back.

Callie’s answer: Remember you always have the power to call them and ask for their response! Everyone has a busy life! If they do not answer and show up, be gracious! The more the merrier! Always account for more then what are coming, don’t make it that big of a deal! Just put a smile on your face and be happy the event is about to be over!

Lillie-Beth’s answer: I don’t think it’s wrong to call people who haven’t responded, especially when you need a count. People are getting more lax about RSVP-ing these days as they have more demands pulling them in many different directions. Sometimes they forget; sometimes they can’t figure out the logistics.

However, those are not OK excuses for neglecting to RSVP.

Sadly, I’m one of those people who have at times been slow to respond to invitations in recent years, usually because of an ongoing childcare puzzle. I was taught better than that. If someone is going to be so gracious as to plan and event and send out invitations, we should all be as polite and say “yay” or “nay” as soon as possible, including me.

Helen’s answer: This question must be a particularly sensitive issue since people talk about the problem a lot, so, I think that people must learn to respond because it is too expensive to entertain for no-shows.

One time in the past, we were invited to a wedding reception and had to cancel at the last minute because of illness. We did not realize that it was a seated dinner reception.  If we had just taken a little more time to talk to the host, we would have realized that we should have called the host immediately and not send our “sorries” with a relative. We thought it was a standard wedding reception with cake.  Every time I see that family, I feel like I should have reimbursed the host for his expenses for dinner; it was probably costly. I felt very rude, but learned a good etiquette lesson.