Should the children sit still at the table? 20-40-60 answers

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YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE!

Question: I am a young mother and my children, ages 3, 5, 11, always need some help remembering how to sit still at the table.

My husband and I insist that they behave in a restaurant and that they must sit there until everyone is finished, but I notice other children running and playing in the restaurant after they are through eating. Should we continue to enforce our rules or just go and let them play until the adults are finished? Or should we just stay home and not eat out in restaurants until the youngest ones are older?

Callie’s answer: For kids, adults are boring! When you were three and five years old, you didn’t want to wait for others to finish. Although, this is the time where boundaries are a must, and so are rewards.

If you have said “sit at the table till everyone is finished”,  then stick to your guns. Maybe, dessert outside, or,  away from the table, would be a reward for waiting so patiently.

Lillie-Beth’s answer: I agree with you and your husband, and your rules are your rules. They are old enough to learn to sit still at a restaurant, although after a certain amount of time they’re all going to get squirmy. Your youngest two, at least, are at an age where long, drawn-out meals with deep discussions are just not going to happen, so plan accordingly.

Of course, you could take them to a restaurant where there’s room for them to play so the adults can talk; for that, I go to a place like Pop’s in Arcadia and sit outside on the back patio. There, the kids have the entire grassy lawn out back to run, away from tables and waiters but still in sight, while they’re waiting for their food and when they’re finished.

In general, it’s not a good idea to let kids roam free in restaurants. It’s dangerous as waiters carry food back and forth and distracting for other diners. You can always take a small table game for them to play while they wait, but if you stay consistent in teaching them to sit there, they’ll learn eventually. Your conversations and meals will get more and more fun and interesting as they get older, and they’ll look forward to the time to sit down together as much as you do. Keep the faith!