Can I ask friends for a birthday donation? 20-40-60 answers

YOU ASK…WE ANSWER…YOU DECIDE!

Dear 20-40-60:

I love your article in the newspaper.  My question is:  I am having a BIG birthday party this fall and plan to have an open house and invite between 75-100 people!  I have everything under the sun and really don’t want any gifts.

What I would like to do on the invitation, is ask people if they would like to donate to a Church Project in Haiti or to a medical Foundation that I am a member of.  How do I accomplish this and/or what do you suggest?

Thanks in advance for your response.

Callie’s answer: What a great idea! When you are having the invitations made up, state “In lieu of gifts please bring a small (or big) donation to….” The professionals helping you with the invitations will, I’m sure, have some great ideas. Keep it light and fun because it is a party!  Happy Birthday!

Lillie-Beth’s answer: This is a tough question to answer: It sounds like your birthday party isn’t supposed to be a fundraiser but yet you want people who would ordinarily give you a gift to spend the money for you in a meaningful way for a good cause. So how do you approach the delicate money subject, keeping etiquette in mind?

One idea would be to then include in the party invitation a separate enclosure card that reads something like, “To celebrate my birthday this year, I’m supporting XX Church project in Haiti and YY Medical Foundation. Since I have been blessed with so much, including your friendship, and don’t need anything for my birthday, I’d love for you to join me for in giving to these great causes. Here are the addresses for XX and YY and websites for more information if you’re interested.”

To me, this approach gives your friends a way to honor you on your birthday but takes the pressure off because it doesn’t require that they give to your charities in order to celebrate with you. The last thing you want to do is make your guests uncomfortable at your party. (i.e. What if they didn’t support XX or YY or had already gone over budget in this area?)

On the other hand, it’s a nice gesture when friends who care for you want to show it in a way that means something to you, such as giving to your favorite causes in your name.