20-40-60 Etiquette---Should I get a babysitter?
QUESTION: I was one of the hostesses for a shower and was the one who took the RSVP’s. An invited guest said she would be attending and would have her 4- and 6- year-old daughters with her. Children were not invited, as almost all of the guests have children. What should my response have been?
CALLLIE’S ANSWER: Be straight with her. It is inappropriate to bring others to a party uninvited, even if you have asked, especially children under the age of 6. They don’t want to be there!
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: You could look on the bright side — at least the guest mentioned the fact that she planned to bring her children with her, which gave you an opportunity to politely prevent that from happening. I would tell her nicely that the party was for adults only and assume she misunderstood the invitation to mean that.
If you knew the guest and knew she was in a childcare bind, then you could offer the name of a babysitter. Or, since you said almost all of the guests have children, you can tell her you’ll keep her in mind if you hear of anyone pooling babysitting resources during the shower.
HELEN’S ANSWER: Politely ask the guest if she could get a babysitter since the others invited guests are all adults. Tell her that they have children too and would like to bring them, but, it is not the time or place for them. If everyone brought their children, it would be a children’s party.
It is truly the bride’s time to have adult conversation and just be with her friends. Children distract from that and if she had wanted them to come, she would have put them on the invitation list.

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