20-40-60 etiquette: Wedding gift required?

YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!

QUESTION: Does a invitation to a wedding automatically mean you should buy a wedding gift, even if you are not going?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: YES!! Don’t be stingy. A gift will always be appreciated and most of the time this new couple will need help starting their lives together.

A thank you note should DEFINITELY follow when a gift is given.

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LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: If you’re not planning on going to a wedding, keep in mind that the bride and groom wanted to share their happy news with you for a reason, because of some connection you have with them or their families. Sending a wedding gift anyway is the proper gesture that shows you’re thinking about the couple on the big day.

But if you get an invitation out the blue, have only a small connection to the couple, or if your budget doesn’t stretch that far, then I think you can get by with sending them a note of congratulations.

Are you asking this question because you feel a recent wedding invitation that you received was merely a solicitation for gifts and not because you’re close to the couple getting married or the family? I hope not, but if so, be gracious and congratulate the couple anyway with a note or a small gift.

HELEN’S ANSWER: If you were invited to the wedding, but cannot go, I think that it is still proper etiquette to send a gift.  You must be close enough to the bride and groom to have been invited in the first place. And if you think about it, you probably either know them or the family well enough to want to celebrate the event by sending a gift.

Traditional wedding etiquette is that you are giving a gift to celebrate the couple’s new life together and not the reception or the marriage ceremony.