ETIQUETTE QUESTION on Parties Extra! – This idea for a question came to us from….a press release
YOU ASK—WE ANSWER—YOU DECIDE!
So, yes, I do re-gift occasionally, but only if it’s: 1) new and never been used; 2) something I like or would actually choose to buy new for the recipient; 3) a duplicate of something that I already have; or 4) a cool item that I received in a group exchange where the giver and the recipient aren’t necessarily connected, like in a “dirty Santa” exchange or as a luncheon party favor. Chances are, if you don’t like the gift, your friend won’t either.
Whether you buy the gift, make one or use one that came from somewhere else, the idea behind gift-giving is the same: You’re trying to make the receiver happy. If you keep that in mind, then the rest of it falls into place
Callie’s Answer: The holidays are a time for giving and showing the people you love that you have thought about them and care for them. NO ONE is too busy, and, with the internet at ones’ fingertips, every gift is at your disposal. Also, there is always thought and creativity in a homemade gift. A collage of pictures of the person and you is a great gift that doesn’t cost much! Re-gifting is okay if you never used the item, and you know someone else will enjoy it a lot more than you!! Just don’t re-gift to everyone! That WOULD be tacky!
Helen’s Answer: It is very hard for me to re-gift. The two times that I gave away a present that I had been given, I felt like the gift receiver knew that it had come from someone else and that I was betraying the person who gave me the gift in the first place. And I checked and re-checked the poor, lowly gift for evidence that it had been given to me. For my own peace of mind, I leave re-gifting alone.
Author Jodi Newbern: In her just-released book Regifting Revival: A Guide to Reusing Gifts Graciously (a road-tested guide to re-gifting ideas and etiquette,) Jodi offers sage advice to the would-be re-gifter.
“In these days of recycling, reselling, and recession, there needs to be a resurgence of re-gifting,” says Newbern. “This can only be good for mankind, the environment, and gift-giving in general.”
(Callie, a college sophomore, is a debutante this year and has been in many new social situations recently and Lillie-Beth is a former debutante and assistant features editor for The Oklahoman and Helen has written a social column for The Oklahoman for many years and has been on various local Ball committees.
This group does not always agree (via age differences), but they ALL see the need for proper behavior.)
Ask a specific etiquette question and you will get three answers…Then you decide for yourself how you would handle the situation. The answers have information for every age range….Callie is 20-something; Lillie-Beth is 40-something, and Helen is 60-something.
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