20-40-60 etiquette: Oh no! I broke a glass!

YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!

QUESTION: When I was at a formal dinner party, I broke one of the host’s crystal glasses. She was very kind and told me not to worry about it.

What should be done? Should I replace it or let it go?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: This happens all the time! Even though the host said it is all right, I am sure you still feel guilty. If you can afford to replace it then maybe try. If not, some flowers or homemade cookies to say sorry, are nice and thoughtful.

Although, sometimes,  if it is your good friend, you can tell if she really means ‘don’t worry about it.’

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Something like this requires graciousness on both sides, which sounds like both of you have already accomplished. You offered to replace it, while the hostess insisted everything was fine. So you can leave it at that, or you can push a little more; in doing so, you might get her to say reluctantly, “well, I did get them at XYZ store,” and then you’ll have your answer that she really would like it replaced.

If you feel like you need to do something, despite her assurances otherwise, get her a gift card to a store that carries those glasses so she can replace it herself.

Things can get broken accidentally when they are used, and your hostess understands that and is willing to take the risk. I was always taught to enjoy your nice things regularly instead of keeping them packed away, waiting for a “special occasion” that never seems to be good enough.

HELEN’S ANSWER:  When a host or hostess brings out the good china and crystal, he/she takes a risk that something might get broken in the dishwasher, when washing or drying by hand, or by someone at the dinner table. If she chooses to take that risk by having Baccarat crystal glasses or Spode china dinner plates, she knows something could happen.

If you break anything in the home, it is your responsibility to replace it.  If you offer and the hosts says no “worries,” you might take it at that, as the host could already have replacements in the cabinet, or more glasses than she already needs.  I think you can tell if it is an irreplaceable heirloom or you need to work a little hard finding a new glass or plate.

I have broken a couple of items like this in my lifetime and deeply regret the offense. One time I replaced it easily and the other time, there was no glass to be found. One other time I completely forgot it until months later and now every time I see that person, it crosses my mind. It has now been so long that probably the host has forgotten, or  maybe not!