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20-40-60 Etiquette---Should I take a gift to the club?

by Helen Ford Wallace Modified: June 9, 2013 at 8:45 am •  Published: January 7, 2013

 YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!

By Callie Gordon, Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Helen Ford Wallace

QUESTION: I am invited to an engagement dinner for my granddaughter by the mother of her boyfriend. The dinner is to be at a country club. What is the right thing to do about taking a hostess gift? I first thought it would be at her home but now it’s at the club. Should I take a gift to the club for the hostess?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: If you feel like you want to bring a gift, that is great! I don’t see the need to unless it is held at their house.

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: If you would take a hostess gift to her home, it’s OK to give one for an event that someone is hosting elsewhere. That person is still throwing the party, even if it’s not in her home, and a hostess gift is a thoughtful way to say thanks for including you in the special event.

If you need to bring it to country club because you can’t get it to her home before or after the event, consider something small that your hostess can easily carry out with her. As an alternative, you can always send flowers to the hostess’ home on the day of the event as a way to acknowledge the joyous occasion.

HELEN’S ANSWER: It is always lovely to receive a hostess gift. Maybe you could drop it off after the party to the hostess. You always hear about gifts getting lost at a restaurant or a private club because no one knows where to store them. That is why I always discourage taking gifts (even wedding gifts) somewhere they could be misplaced.

GUEST’S ANSWER: Kathy Walker, local volunteer and community leader: How thoughtful of you to want to give the hostess a gift. If she lives within your vicinity, it would be nice to deliver a gift prior to the engagement dinner to her house. Otherwise, you could ask the attendant at the front desk to hold the gift for you until the end of the evening. You could then give it to the hostess upon leaving the club.

by Helen Ford Wallace
Society Editor
Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She creates, maintains and runs a Parties blog which includes web casts. She is an online web editor for...
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