20-40-60---Etiquette Question

ETIQUETTE QUESTION: This question came to us from a friend.

YOU ASK—WE ANSWER —YOU DECIDE!

Your question: The dating scene: Who should pay? Most guys like tab sharing, after the first free meals. Girls like the trusted tradition etiquette of whoever asks out, pays. Speaking of dating, any other thoughts on what constitutes a classy date?

Callie’s Answer: Guys and dating have gone downhill! It is very rare to have a guy ask you on a date. Most of the time, or at least in college, you have to hang out with a group of friends for weeks until the guy really gets the courage to ask you on a date. By the time he asks you, HE should pay. Guys should always pay until the relationship is comfortable enough for maybe the girl to treat or split the bill.

I feel like guys who are gentlemen have almost gone extinct. NO ONE goes on dates! If you find a guy that takes you out to dinner or a movie, it is a rarity. HOLD ON TO HIM, LADIES!

In college, that dating scene is 1) partying together; 2) a date party invite; 3) more partying together; and 4) FINALLY, a date! It would be nice to for guys to start growing some… gentlemanly qualities.

Lillie-Beth’s Answer: Is it still OK these days to want a traditional date, where the guy asks a girl out and then actually follows through with a specific date and time? I’m tired of vague statements like “let’s do something sometime,” “don’t be a stranger” or “when are we going to get together again?” — those don’t have any meat to them and no follow-through. They seem to indicate, “I’m interested, but not really enough to ask you out. Or am I?” Who knows?

But I digress … the question is about paying. If a guy asks a girl out for the first time, then he should make the arrangements and pay. If it’s reverse, then she should consider it. After they’ve been going out awhile, then those kinds of issues are up for negotiation. The girl should offer to pay if the man has been paying the whole time. But for me, I’m impressed with a guy who takes charge, asks and then is specific about making plans and coordinating schedules. Paying for the meal is an even nicer touch, especially on the early dates.

Alan Herzberger’s Answer: (Alan is Digital Managing Editor of the OPUBCO Communications Group and has his own blog: The Digital Desk- http://blog.newsok.com/newsok/).   First off, I don’t know any men that like tab-sharing. Granted, I don’t know many men that aren’t currently married, but I feel confident in saying that men feel more comfortable paying the tab, especially in the early stages of a courtship.