20-40-60 Etiquette---How should we divide the cost of the party?


Posted July 30, 2012 by Helen Ford Wallace Comment on this article Leave a comment

To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.

 YOU ASK! WE ANSWER! YOU DECIDE!

QUESTION: What is the party etiquette on paying for a bridal party when there are five couples and one single person? Do you divide the cost by couples (six people) or by people (11)?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: Ask the group how they would like to divide it up and let everyone decide together. That way, everyone has decided how to divide the bill. My vote would be to divide it between each person. This is fair for the single person.

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I don’t know of a set etiquette rule on this one, but the best way to work this out is in advance, along with estimated costs. It’s tough to decide after the fact when costs vary depending on which method you choose. In your scenario, the couples will pay about 8.7 percent more than the single person if you calculate per person (11, in this case). If you calculate costs per unit (each couple counts as one unit, as does the single person), then the single person will pay about 9.1 percent more than she or he would have if calculated the other way, but that person bears the entire cost alone.

Since I’m single, I’d vote in favor of charging per person, like venues do most of the time when planning a reception (they charge per plate of food, not per couple). But that’s my preference because that way works out in my favor. One could also argue that a single person should not have to pay a couple’s rate. However, I understand why couples would think it’s fair to pay per unit and would want to divide the bill that way.

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Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She...


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