20-40-60 Etiquette---We've Got Mail!

Dear Readers,

We had several comments about the 20-40-60 question about writing thank you notes for gifts and expressing thanks to the giver.

Here is a link to the original question and answers: http://tinyurl.com/9k3f6yj . It was published August 12, 2012 in The Oklahoman and August 15, 2012 on Parties Extra!

The topic definitely hits a cord with many people as this is about the fifth email question we have received on the subject.

I think that Manners are  very important and that we need to continue to remember to be polite and stay true to the civility we have learned through the years from our parents and grandparents. HFW

THE QUESTION: I am perplexed. I was taught by my mom to “always write a thank you note or express verbal thanks to the giver” whenever I received a gift — for birthday, Christmas, birth of baby, wedding or shower, etc.

All my friends are now married and have grown-up children, so the gifts I’m taking are for grandchildren of friends, wedding/baby showers for younger women at church who are acquaintances or dinner for church women who are homebound due to illness or pregnancy.
After giving 50 or 60 gifts like this, I could count on my right hand the number of times I’ve been thanked either by card, phone or verbally. All of them were women above 50.

Although I give because I want to, I’m just wondering if an entire generation from 16 to 40 years of age has missed a “courtesy lesson” of simply saying “thanks,” or have I missed out on a revolution in appropriate manners?

READER’S COMMENT:… I definitly feel the angst. It’s very rare I hear or see a child with manners. Unfortunately when I see how their 30 or 40 y/o parent acts, it all becomes clear.

 Lately (and this is not a gender stab) I will see women more guilty of this then men, granted there are some men out there too I see that never say “Excuse me” when trying to get past you, or even a “Pardon me” when reaching across you. Most women I encounter (like at the grocery store or wal-mart) NEVER acknowledge, they just reach right on across and throw a dirty look your way because apparently you were in their way.

 So let me close with this . . . . if my mother saw me acting like I didn’t have any manners or common sense??? I would have been smacked around several ways from Sunday and her asking me “WHERE ARE YOU MANNERS!!! I didn’t raise you like that . . . . NOW apologize to that kind person” To bad smacking someone around for forgetting their manners is illegal now. Because there would be so many people getting a smack down. So LEARN to say THANK YOU, EXCUSE ME, PARDON ME without anger.