20-40-60 Etiquette-December birthday?


Posted December 18, 2011 by Helen Ford Wallace Comment on this article Leave a comment

 

 

BY CALLIE GORDON, LILLIE-BETH BRINKMAN AND HELEN FORD WALLACE

QUESTION: My friend’s birthday is Dec. 24. Usually, I combine her birthday and the holiday and spend a little more for one gift. I started thinking that maybe she would rather have two small gifts, one for her birthday, and one for Christmas. What should I do?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: That is a tough one. Everyone who has birthdays around Christmas or even on Christmas Day probably doesn’t get a huge celebration. Simply ask her which she would prefer. If it were me, I would get her one for the birthday and one for Christmas, but to each his own.

LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: After giving one nice gift for so long, what made you start thinking she would rather have two gifts? If there’s a reason you’re rethinking this, then maybe you’ve answered your question. With a birthday that comes so close to the holiday, I’m sure your friend is used to people combining gifts by now, especially as an adult, although you could ask her whether that ever bothered her growing up.

Her answer to that question might give you a clue about what she’s thinking. Acknowledging her birthday and Christmas with separate gifts is a nice gesture of friendship. However, the point of gift-giving exchanges between friends should not be the amount of money spent but the thoughtfulness and care shown with each gift. If you make it clear that your gift is to wish her a happy birthday and merry Christmas, then you’ve shown such consideration.

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Helen Ford Wallace is a columnist covering society-related events/news for The Oklahoman. She puts local parties online with daily updates. She...


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